First Impressions - Christmas Guy
Hey it's time for part two in the Brian-hater-shaming trilogy, and I'll get to why this is part 2 in a trilogy in a bit. Don't believe me in that? Well I accurately predicted that they would bring Brian back, but then again SO DID EVERYONE ELSE. Seth you weren't fooling anyone for a second. Actually he did; in fact there was a petition to bring Brian back. Here's the thing Life of Brian aired what, two weeks ago? A petition had nothing to do with this; they were in production at the same time. But we'll get to that in a minute, we'll all get to that in a minute. We need to talk about the actual episode before we talk about the meta. Here's the plot: The Griffins go to the mall to go to the Christmas Carnival, eleven pointless minutes happen, and then Stewie asks Santa for his friend Brian to come back to life. Jeeze, wasn't the point of the last episode moving on from that or something? Sometime later Stewie finds one of his past selves that was in a cutaway in Life of Brian that I thought was pointless so I didn't cover it in my actual review. He goes back to the past and saves Brian--somehow without past Stewie noticing, despite him not being fully inside the house when Brian got run over the first time. So yeah, the episode is pretty bare-bones to begin with. I'm not kidding when I say that eleven pointless minutes happen. The Griffins go to the mall, and find out the Christmas Carnival is cancelled. They spend eleven minutes getting it started again, and then THEY'RE RIGHT BACK WHERE THEY FUCKING STARTED! You could cut that out and all that you would be missing is a "gag" that makes you never want to drink egg nog for the rest of your life. This automatically means that Vinnie doesn't exist in the Griffin's life, unless there's some petition to bring him back too out there. I didn't exactly hate Vinnie, I hated his purpose--to make people want Brian back even more. This was a chessmaster-esque move on MacFarlane's part, and everyone who signed that petition to want Brian back fell for it. Now congratulations, Seth has even more license to have Brian spout his crap--after all, the people liked him, the people wanted him, the people must have liked what he did. Brian's character is going to devolve even further. Most second parts in a trilogy are the weakest and that's no exception here. It's not forcing your heartstrings to weep for someone you most likely don't care about, it's just trying to make you feel better. And Brian's line about Stewie giving him "the greatest gift of all"--that was for you, people who wanted Brian to come back to life. Remember what Brian was doing when no one wanted him around (calling all religious people bigoted idiots, telling Meg she should be a lightning rod for abuse, trying to change laws at gunpoint)? Expect that, but ten times worse. My guess is that it's going to be in an episode where they track down whoever was in that car. McFarlane's tweet on the subject: ‘And thus endeth our warm, fuzzy holiday lesson: Never take those you love for granted, for they can be gone in a flash.’ ‘I mean, you didn’t really think we’d kill off Brian, did you? Jesus, we’d have to be f****** high.’ ‘Oh and hey… thanks for caring so much about the canine Griffin. He is overcome with gratitude.’ that sounds like a sarcastic afterthought McFarlane, you're a funny guy. You're a really funny guy. Never take those you love for granted... except most people didn't love Brian. They hated the character since you frequently used him to spout your beliefs in a world designed where they were always right. And if you really wanted to teach that lesson, you gotta keep 'em dead buddy. Seth, buddy, you get high all the fucking time. You'd have to be more than high to get rid of Brian, but then again, thanks for taking credit for this publicity stunt. For once I know where blame lies. You don't know a guy by the name of Zeus Cervas do you? I think you guys would get along great. He's a cartoon writer, you might find some room for him on your team. In a year or two, he'd probably need the work... provided your show is still running. Seth McFarlane, I have no respect for you. I lost respect for you as a writer a long time ago. I lost respect for you as a showrunner during Seahorse Seashell Party, and I lost respect for you as a person with this publicity stunt. You want people to talk about Family Guy? I'm not going to be one of them. Family Guy is a show I shall no longer review. Think about that Seth. I've reviewed an episode of Allen Gregory, one of the greatest bombs on your own very network. I reviewed a low-budget, ear-grating excuse for a webshow. I've reviewed around ten episodes from a show that makes fun of suicide and has since dug that hole deeper. You have fallen below that. Yeah, this was "just a publicity stunt." I'm not angry at that. I'm angry that you thought that this would work. Dude, it wasn't even a very good one. Most people saw this coming. It's good to know though that you won't do this in the future; and if you do, you're going to be laughed at. Seth, unlike Spongebob, your show''s'' are expendable: www.youtube.com/watch?v=e0PJYq… (you know it's true, that was twelve years ago by the way). Your show doesn't keep Fox alive. You failed to get that relationship where you're paraciting on something while it's doing it to you. Your show will die. You will lose the war. You've just used your biggest gun, and now you're out of ammo. Oh, and I was really looking forward to that fucking egg nog too. Category:Miscellaneous